I

I dream, I build, I fall...
But then ..I spring back to life and tell the World, 'Guess some other day, coz its not my time yet'..

Another thought!

Sometimes, life is clustered in a series of sad happenings and all you can hope for is a moment of freedom, an escape from the harsh realities, into a dreamland, where you can just be you, without rules.

A thought!

Our pretention for happiness is often a mask for the sadness inside!

Birthday Thought

Birthdays.
Complicated.
You grow a year old and people still wish you for a great life.
When is life ever great if you are old?

Chasing the Unexplained

Certain things in life can not be explained.
We try and reason out everything in our life but do we really get the answers? The World still continues to spin and nothing really changes if we don't find answers.
But, that certainly doesn't mean that we just let go and leave a pursuit.
Maybe that is life and that is what we live for.

Combination of Factors!

Most of the things in life occur as a result of combination of factors.

Our birth for instance, is the most amazing example of how the factors work. Starting from the fastest sperm piercing the egg to reaching the zone under optimum conditions for further growth and development to deciding whether it will be a combination of X or Y chromosomes to changes in the zygote for a single or a multiple creation, its all about combination of factors.

Now as we emerge into the World of reality, we realise that every step of our life is pre-decided, destineed. And what decides that, is again some more combination of factors. Our parents sort out and filter out the best of education they can provide us, the best of food, the best of clothing they can afford and overall the best of life that they can share with us. Starting from quality to financial feasability, they really do a series of complex mathematics to decide all that.

Once we grow old enough, a combination of factors decide whether we can sustain our own living or not. Are we financially independent? Can we face the cruel, ruthless World? Ok, lets say, we can overcome those factors and can pretty much manage our living, then will come the next question, Are we good enough? Are we better than our competitors? And what do we do to be the best?. These questions will take us back to the start and more questions will pop up. So our parents gave us the best they could afford, so that means we had the best since childhood, but does that mean we will be outstanding? Not necessarily.Are we intelligent - Again the same combination of factors: Depends..1 Genetics - If our parents were intelligent, chances are we will inherit a part of it. 2. Practical - Have we done enough learning in life to make ourselves intelligent. We may have or may not have. So, end result is till we meet someone better, we can call ourselves the best.

Thus over a period of time, knowingly or unknowingly we realise how much our life and existence is governed by various combination of factors and those will stay till our last breath which too depends heavily on these combinations.

I don't know if it is a good or a bad thing to be governed by a set of factors but I certainly believe there is no escape from it, maybe even an escape will require certain perfect combinations!

Of Togetherness!!

Togetherness...
Its a special feeling when you realise that the person you love the most is always there with you, in good times and in bad.
Its more than 4 years of togetherness for us but I am still charmed by him.What is it that makes him so irrestible, I don't know, maybe its the warmth in his signature style or the kindness that he exudes... the truth is whatever it is, I am completely swooned and floored by him.
I know people think I am crazy to still think the way I think about him after all these years but maybe those people do not know that love increases as we grow old.
Ours certainly has.I still can not think of a single day without him.
He is more than an addiction.
He is someone who makes me laugh and cry at the same time, someone who pesters me till I burst out with irritation, someone who knows what it takes to calm me when I am disturbed, someone who enjoys life as much as I do.
He is the perfect for me.
I have been told by many that there is no 'perfect' relationship. I love to prove it wrong each day.
Many a times I am asked if I am possessive about him, well I am possessive but certainly not over-possessive and we both know why. We give each other the space needed to make ours a 'perfect' relationship.
I may not know a lot about everything but I certainly know what togetherness means and
my life with him means the world to me..

Bangalore - 5 Years....

When I first moved to Bangalore, little did I know that this will be my future home. Today its a little more than 5 years of my existence in this city and the overall experience has been outstanding. This city has given me so much and there is nothing that I can complain about.I came to this city in pursuit of love and a career and I got both... Bangalore may not be as bold as Delhi or as glitzy as Mumbai but it does have a charm of its own. There isn't much to the city but the warmth of the people and the awesome climate fill in the gaps. A lot of people ask me why I don't want to return to Kolkata which they think is my hometown considering I am a Bengali, but to be honest, I never knew where I really belonged till I moved to Bangalore. The moment I landed here, I was in love and truth is, each day the bond continues to strengthen. Maybe I wasn't born here and maybe I never decided till my early twenties to move in here, but now that I am here, I will stay!

Realising Dreams!

Sometimes I just think.

I think of the time I have wasted doing nothing at all.

Sitting here in my comfy office, when I look back at those critical years of my life which played an important role in deciding where I am today, I sometimes do regret the fact that things could have been better if I had put that little extra effort.Maybe I could have studied in a better institute, maybe I could have been a little less of a dreamer, maybe I could have been more career focussed like the kids of today, maybe I could have forseen the future a bit, but then again, this also makes me think that maybe its good that I didn't think much that time and let myself flow, maybe I would have become an old hag too soon if I had let those thoughts overshadow my wanderer life.

Its not that i was completely out of focus, like I mentioned earlier, I used to be quite a dreamer then. i would dream of living an extremely luxurious life, complete with a huge villa and a fancy car, a huge pool to dip in and unlimited food and wine in the cellar. I don't remember if I dreamt of being a movie star or something to dream of a life like that, but never I thought about what it takes to realise that dream.

Again I guess old age has made me a wee bit wiser and made me realise that behind every successful dream is a lot of hardwork and patience or maybe a rich dad. I have decided to take the hardwork and patience route. So far i have been successful in achieving a portion of the pie but determined to get the bigger chunk. Soon!

Dreamweaver!

The other day, a very good friend of mine called up. Apparently owing to various reasons/circumstances, we didn't have chance to catch up with each other in months.Just five minutes into the conversation, of which four minutes were spent on ' How are you's? and Where have you been ? etc..' and the fifth minute she said, "You both have had enough share of fun now, and its time to become serious, when are you going to have a baby ?"
I swear I was bewildered but maybe her question was not un-natural. I am sure many want me to ask the question but they can't and she only spoke it out.
So anyways I started thinking of top 3 things we have to do before a baby is born:-
1. A trip to Goa - The number one on the list. Should have gone there before but well, its never too late, have to plan out something this year.
2. An international holiday trip - We never went anywhere outside India together, its always been either him or me and that too for work. Maybe this can be postponed for a while and can be achieved even after we have a baby. But neverthless, its good to keep it on my To-do list.
3. I have always dreamt of sky diving, though Mr. Hubby is not keen on the idea of getting killed via free-fall. Wish he can agree on Bungee-Jumping at least or White water rafting in Rishikesh... Ok, I don't intend to get myself killed but really want to live life.
I just re-read my To-do list. My expectations are realistic but may take more than a year to fulfill so I guess I maynot have time to live all my dreams but someone once rightly said,'We all have our own life to pursue, our own kind of dream to be weaving. And we all have some power to make wishes come true, as long as we keep believing'.
So I will Keep Believing!! and Keep Dreaming!!

A Day for Love!

I am not a Valentine Day person. I find it pretty cliche to wish my love on this day in particular. I don't see a reason to mark a day especially to celebrate love. Why can't we love everyday? The overall concept is business focused.

Anyways,my hubby thinks otherwise. He, sort of enjoys the idea of a day called the 'Valentine Day' and loves to celebrate. So last evening I went to a supermart and we were buying some stuff for home and saw that they were selling everything that can mush up love, in one corner of the store. They had chocolates, cards, watches etc on display and young teens had surrounded the counter and were buying things which they never would have if there wasn't a day marked to make you go crazy.

I know I sound old, but I am old, certainly not as young as I was 15 years ago! Ok, so old age has made me sober, possibly an idiot and definitely stripped me of a major emotion called love. I was forced to believe my last statement when I did something really stupid this morning.

I was running late for work and was at least 5 minutes behind schedule to leave the house. I jumped out of the bed and went straight to the shower, no time for morning cuddle and kisses. By the time I came out of my 3 minute bath, the bed was neatly arranged and the house looked perfect. I said a goodbye to hubby and took my bag. He said," Please wait for a couple of minutes" and my reply was, "Why? I really can't, I am in an extreme hurry". He said, "I wanted to hug you, but guess you should go". God, I was shattered. The sadness in his eyes cut me from inside. I felt so guilty and stupid. Could I not spare just two minutes of my life for the love of my life? I resented the thought of turning into a self centered moron. I kept my bag down and rushed to hold and be held in his arms and yes I have to admit, I did feel good.

Maybe we don't really need a day to celebrate love, maybe its just the moments that we need, maybe it doesn't take words to tell it all, maybe its just the embrace that we can keep...maybe that feeling is called Love!

Even though it might sound cliche, it doesn't hurt to wish everyone you love a Happy Valentine Day!

Someone showed us GOD!

Yesterday while photographing the moon I was reminded of an incident which happened a few months back. It was a full moon night and scientists had predicted something about it being the largest and brightest of the decade (or was it century??)Sudipto and I were aiming for a healthier lifestyle then and used to take evening walks near the park area. So as we were briskly walking and talking, a man came from the opposite direction and suddenly stopped right in front of us and asked , "Do you believe in God?, now I clearly believed he was drunk or maybe a guy from some shoddy marketing company trying to trap us to join some chain business, so anyways my 6th sense advised me to be ready for some hard hitting action. Sudipto calmly replied, "No". The man was determined to put the faith in us and he asked again, "Have you seen God?", to which Sudipto firmly replied, "No". The man was unfazed. By this time I was pretty sure that this guy is upto something, something unpleasant when suddenly he pointed at the sky behind us and said, "There he is".... and WOW.... simply WOW....what a sight...The moon in full bloom, an orangish yellow beauty. I was completely spellbound. I could understand what that guy must have felt like. He must have seen it for quite a while when walking in our direction and had to share the feeling with someone. Couldn't blame him! After a few frozen moments of cherishing the beauty we returned to reality and thanked the man for showing us the wonderful sight.We resumed our evening walk but didn't speak. Maybe we were still overwhelmed by the beauty of the moon.This also made me think that in our fast paced life if we just stop for a moment and look at the World around us, there is so much to cherish, so many things to captivate our thoughts, so much beauty to appreciate but only if we Stop , See and Think!

Click Story!

Well just a couple of photos from my new lens

The giant orb

Kiwi

Green

A gift of love from My Love!

It so happened that after years of coaxing and cajoling my husband into gifting me a telephoto lens for my SLR, he finally surrendered and gifted me a super cool lens and a tripod and a book...wowww!! that was a lot more than expected...
It does feel good when you get more than what you ask for..
So here I am, happily clicking pictures and hence been away for a few days from my blog...
I plan to improvise my photography skills and hence I will be visiting some exotic places nearby in the weekends to come to take some great pictures and satisfy my soul!
I am not posting the pictures I have taken so far but will definitely post them soon..
But right now, I am a proud owner of a great photography kit and I can't express the happy feeling I am surrounded with :)

Oh I didn't know that you are a Bong!!!

A few days back I met someone who was quite pleasantly surprised, shocked will be a better expression when he realised that I was a Bong.
Ok I dont look like one for sure and my Bengali language skills are passable but his comment did make me think on how a Bong should be.
I did some research on my own, tried to read my family members, relatives, who don't shock people, and I realised that I am still far from being a pure Bong.
Its true that my parents are Bongs too but they were both born and brought up in other parts of the country where Hindi language influence is more strong. With that, even the culture is different. The same goes for me, I was born outside West Bengal and spent my childhood in different cities and towns across Bihar and by the time I reached Kolkata I was possibly too old to fully imbibe the Bangali in me. I may not look like an authentic Bong, I maynot behave or speak like one, I may have problems understanding certain words, I may not be a fluent reader and writer of the language, but that certainly doesn't reduce my fondness for the rich culture, tradition and my existence.
And yes, please drop that shocked look on your face cause I Am A Bong!

Yercaud!

So I am back from a mind refreshing trip to Yercaud.

Honestly, there isn't much to boast about the place or the hotel or the food there and anyways my intent was just to relax and do absolutely nothing.

Yercaud is a quaint place atop the Shevaroys mountain range. There is a small lake, some nice gardens, and certainly a lot of peace around. People who havent visited any hillside towns ever may love it but I have seen it all and seen some better places than this.

The only thing I really loved is the small heritage restaurant in Lake Forest Resort where we had our lunch and dinner. This place is beautiful with all antique artifacts from the British era. Just Lovely. It takes you back in time of the era gone by and reminds you of a heritage that was there once. The food they prepare is typically European and Indian cuisine which can cater to all palates. This was the most satisfactory part of the trip!

Off to Yercaud!

I am taking a short vacation to Yercaud... Checked out the reviews and heard its a beautiful place..Hope to have loads of fun starting now :)...Will post details once I am back from the trip...till then I wish you all a very happy New Year!!