Expectation kills

life goes on as they say.
Is going on,all that's required in life?
what good would be a life which goes on without any specific mission?
what is the mission that we talk about?
to me mission is something related to growth and better living.
what is life without a good living?
but then how good a living does anybody want?
what are the expectations.
if we try to think of expectations, which is a very overloaded word in itself, in simple terms then, expectations is something that differs from an individual to another.my expectations out of life wouldn't be same as anybody's else and vice-versa.
sometimes i really ponder over this thing called expectations.
is it really necessary? i know i am talking about an ideal situation, maybe an ideal world where nothing ever goes wrong and hence there is no need to expect anything better or worse.
but the reason why i said about the neccessity of expecting something out of life is because i wonder how many of us give something to life without expecting from it.
i know it is difficult to give something without expecting something in return but at least that can be tried.
maybe, who knows that can lead to a source of contentment in life which most of us lack. we keep on cribbing about things we donot have and forget to cherish what we really have.
life is too short to take care and think about the grudges and the grumblings and if we can try cutting short on these and enjoy every moment of our survival, believe me,there would be a lot of peace around us.

Eternal Dilemma

Its still the same feeling, im still in a state of dilemma.
It is that sinking feeling you get when somebody punches you hard on your stomach and forces the air out of there.
even when evrything apparently is fine, i am cribbing, i don't know for what...
what does life hold for me, a bunch of painful cribbing phases???
do i ask too much out of life?
i know i can be happy with what i have with me at present.
i really don't need much.
my needs have never been too much or too great.
i accept everything that life gives me, be it shit or flowers.
yet and yet again i keep on thinking about what life used to be and what it is now.
and everytime i think about it, the past always shines better than the present.
which leaves it to the fact that the future would be worse, who knows??
the fact is that, even though im not too much emotional otherwise, i really cant let go off the past and each and every memory associated with it, good or bad, it doesn't matter much.
the past is something that holds me from moving forwards.
the present doesn't interest me much, cause tomorrow it will be past and the memory of this present would then linger in the past.
i guess the dilemma would be an eternal one cause people like me can rarely come out of it.